marie (willowstars) wrote,

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what a fucko i am

i have been a total fucko these last couple of weeks. i just can't seem to get my shit together. today for example i drove to school to attend two classes that i have missed three times already. i drove up and down the isles of the parking lot, passing open spots all around me, then made a turn out of the parking lot and drove home. why you ask? well i have no fucking clue why. prolly cuase i'm an ass. i am sure i have tests coming up in those classes, i don't even have the syllabis for one of them. i had an assignement to turn in too. whatever.. i can't seem to motivate myself to study or read what i am obviously missing. so i came home and felt bad for myself, and took a 6 1/2 hour nap. when i woke up it was like 5:30 and i had to be at H&R block at 6:30, and after that i was supposed to go to work to give this guy steve ten dollars. well i obviously didn't have time to get ready plus drive there so i went with my bed head from the morning, i never get ready for school. i ended up staying at h&r block for like two hours, which made me late to go to work. i was supposed to go to work to give steve 10 dollars for super bowl football squares. so i left the tax place drove home got ready drove to work and steve had already left. he didn't want to wait around for my ass. so i got ready for nothing. what a fuck up.

meanwhile i am getting $1,300.00 back from taxes.... i should have filed with my mom every damn year. i usually get like 800 at best.

monday i am starting back on atkins along with my mile jog and pilates three times a week. there will be no more going out during the week. and homework will be a priority. thats the plan. I'm gonna be in good shape across the board. i mean it. i have made up some incentives for myself. like for example, i can't get my wigged out hair cut (by wigged out i mean it looks like a fricken wig, it is so out of shape and ridiculous) until i lose ten pounds. twenty pounds, maybe my nails done or mystic tan? we'll see i preparing for ten pounds first. thirty is the goal.

wah wah wah

what a loser i am.
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